My Girlfriend
by KytoDragon
Summary: Hiccups plan to ask out Astrid on a date is ruined when he learns of her new boyfriend. It is now up to Snotlout to save the day. Modern AU, One Shot.


Hiccup POV

I felt miserable.

The day started out perfectly and now everything was ruined. Okay, 'perfectly' was a lie. I was nervous. After all, this would have been the day I asked THE Astrid Hofferson out on a date.

I had always had a crush on her and ever since I saved her life in a car accident two month ago we had become friends. And even though I would never admit it to someone else, loosing a foot in the process had been worth it. I finally had the chance I waited for and wanted to act on it.

Everything was planned, the drive to the park on my bike, the walk through the forest by sundown, the picnic in the cove equipped with hidden fireworks (courtesy of a certain pair of pyromaniac twins). And everything was ruined by what I heard on my way through the hall.

Dagur had just started another attempt at flirting with Astrid which usually resulted in a bruise on Dagurs side and a collective eye-roll from everyone else. But Dagurs outcry of pain never came. I turned towards the scene and saw Astrid glaring at Dagur. "Listen up Dagur, I will only say this once. I already have a boyfriend. Piss off!". Her words echoed through the corridor followed by absolute silence.

Back when Astrid wouldn't even look at me I knew that she wouldn't by single forever but as we grew closer over the last months I never thought that someone else might have already asked her, that I might have been too late.

The last thing I noticed was how everyone stared at her, unbelieving what they just heard, and I ran.

Now I was I my room, laying on my bed, unsure what to do. Before I could start crying again I heard a knock on the door. I tried to wipe away the tears and clear my throat but the "Yes?" I gave as answer went at least through one full octave. My mood didn't exactly lift when I saw Snotlout enter the room.

He started with "Hey cousin, just wanted to ask if you-" but immediately broke off when he saw me.

"Whoa, what happened to you?"

I didn't feel like talking about it and just mumbled a "Its nothing".

I didn't need to look at him to know that the tears had even further degraded my non existent ability to lie.

"Bullshit, you look like Astrid dumped you. What happened?"

I winced when he mentioned Astrid and it did not go unnoticed.

"Wait, did she really?"

"No, no, she - didn't need to...". I looked at the ground but could feel Snotlouts questioning glance on me.

"You dumped her?"

"No". I paused and realised maybe I do want to talk about it. "She already has a boyfriend"

I looked up and saw him wearing the same expression of shock I had seen countless times today. But then his expression changed and he appeared to be deep in thought. That alone should have alarmed me given it was Snorlout were talking about but the maniac grin that followed was way more concerning.

"Hiccup! I have a solution to your problem!" he exclaimed and ran through the hallway into his room.

Just as I enter his room he pulls out an inflatable baseball bat from one of the drawers in his desk and start inflating it.

"What are you doing?"

"Saving your relationship. I will beat up Astrids boyfriend until he understands his place!"

At this moment I started to regret telling Snotlout anything. He always did something stupid when Astrid was around but this was too much.

"What? NO! You can't just do that!", I protested, trying to get the bat from him. "She would never talk to me again and pretty certainly kill you!"

He pushed me away. "I'm willing to take the risk."

Then he was gone. Before I had time to find out what just happened an ear-shattering explosion echoed through the room as something hard collided with my jaw. The room spun around me until I hit the floor behind me. It took a moment before the ringing in my ears stopped and I could see clear again, pain radiating from my right jaw and the back of my head. As I started to look around to find out what just happened I saw Snotlout standing next to me, laughing.

"OH MY GOD, I wish I had filmed that. You should have seen your face!" Snoutlout pointed at me, holding the remains of the popped balloon. "I will never understand how you managed to make me stop hitting you ..."

He seamed to be lost in thought for a second and I finally snapped out of my shock. "WHY did you do that?".

"For one, I have like 50 of these, won them at the carnival last week" he said, pulling out another one from his drawer.

"Second, -huff- I -huff- really like -huff- hitting you -huff-"

He sealed the balloon and pointed it at me.

"Third, and most importantly, I remember saying I will beat the shit out of Astrids boyfriend until he gets it. So, stand up and face your demise"

It took another moment of me staring at my cousin before my brain had processed what he said.

"Wait, you think she meant m-"BAM. The second balloon hit me before I could shield my face, forcing me back to the ground again.

"AH! Would you stop that!"

"Not 'til you get it". A third balloon is pulled out. "You are supposed to be -huff- the smart one -huff- figure it out"

"What makes you think she meant me?" This time I was prepared for the swing and blocked it, but Snotlout simply turned and struck a second time, popping another bat.

"Seriously? You look at each other like some couple from a romance movie, you spent more time with her than with everyone else and every time a girl gets to close to you Astrid glares like she is about to pull out an axe and go on a killing spree. Besides, she rather spends time with you than with this!"

He struck a pose, flexed his muscles and gave me a grin that can't be described as anything else but creepy.

"Well, if you look at it this way ..."

With a groan Snotlouts frowns and pulls out another bat.

"Wait, wait, I get it, really, no need for more punching"

He looked at me warily from the side. "You sure? I still have more ..." he says as he held up the next one.

"Yeah, I'm sure, just ... Thanks" I look away but can still see my cousin smile.

"Ones again, Snotlout saves the day". He strikes another pose.

"Do you solve all problems with violence?"

"It always works". Another pose, then he pointed at me. "So, call her".

"Who?" I ask, but a face-palm from Snotlout is all it took. "Oh, Astrid, yeah, I will, in a moment". I had no idea what I was supposed to tell her but I knew everything be would be okay.

"You better. Otherwise, remember I still have a lot of bats left"

I waved as I quickly left and pulled out my phone. I had already selected Astrids number when I stopped.

A smirk came to my face when iIrealised that Snotlout just saved my relationship in a way only he could.

I pressed the green button and waited for the voice of Astrid.

My girlfriend.

* * *

 **I finally decided to upload the stories I wrote some time ago.**

 **This is my first posted fic so please Read &Review.**

 **Since I don't like uploading stories when there is not at least a large portion ready don't expect anything soon.  
-Kyto **


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